Discovering Yourself

Who is behind the mask that you show to the world?

Have you ever thought about who you really are?

I have thought a lot about this question and it’s a challenging one.

Not until a few years did I know who I really was. When I hit the “Restart” button on my entire life. I hit “Restart” on everything in my control. Deleted my twitter, deleted my instagram, stopped bad habits, removed all toxicities in my life. Everything. I shifted my focus to only optimisms in my life. This was also a complete change in my mindset – the way I thought about myself. Said no to more people and things to be better. This is huge.

You have to be able to say no to the things you no longer want to be apart of. This is crucial to your mind, body, and your overall growth. It will all be worth it in the long haul when you’re look back at the unrecognizable person who you once were because that person no longer exists. Only the you who worked extremely hard to break bad habits, changed your thought process, accepted that there is no changing the past, but who you are today, exists. The person who found their identity through the chaos.

I used to only post things that I thought people wanted to see on my twitter and instagram – even though I was always myself. At least in my mind I was. I fell into a trap that I thought I never would. Doing what everyone else was. How could I be an influencer or say I was different if I was doing the same thing as everyone else? I couldn’t. That’s just it. I don’t know why I ever thought the typical was in. It never was and never will be in style for the present and the future Mrs. Kiana Johnson. Today, I do what I want when I want regardless of what anyone else thinks and I’m never going to feel bad about it.

Where do I find my Identity today?

My identity isn’t found in myself, my clothes, my hair and make up, my husband, my job, my family, or my friends, but in Jesus Christ. The one who will never leave me nor forsake me no matter what…

– Hebrews 13:5

He says I am Whole. I am no longer broken or a slave to the sin I was once living in. He says I am worthy. Worthiness is something that I had to fight to feel for a very long time. Something that felt like ages. I used to tell myself that I would never be worthy of love because of the decisions I once made. He says don’t listen to those thoughts for those are thoughts that come from the devil. He says I am worthy of that love. He says I am His precious daughter. He says I am enough. He says through Him I am a brand new creation, I have His Spirit, and that is all I need to know.

“The deepest of seas and furthest Horizons

Can’t even begin to speak of Your kindness

While I ran so far in rebellion

Still You gave Your life without question…”

He loves us so much. I wonder how deep His love is for us…

What Hinders Us from being Who We Really Are

There are a lot of things in the world that can hinder someone from being who they truly want to be and who they are. I think a lot of people are wrapped up up in the approval of others and the world. Really the only one who has to approve of who you are is yourself. This is your life and you should own who you are. Every part of your being. Every stinking part of it. The good, the bad, and oh yes the ugly. I think you should love yourself. Don’t you think you should love who you are? I feel like I spend a lot of time on self-improvement. Is the person I’m aspiring to be consistent and in alignment with my true identity that which is found in Christ? If that’s not in alignment with who I’m supposed to be in God’s eyes, count me out. I don’t want to be that.

My Prayer for my friends and family still trying to find their identity

Dear Heavenly Father, how I thank You for sending Your Son to be the sacrifice for our sins, that we might receive a new identity from You. I pray that you would open the eyes of my friends and family to all that you have created them to be. I pray that they know they have purpose. That they are a brand new creation through You. I pray the will feel Your love and know they are cherished. Shape them and make them confident. Confident as a child of God. By Your grace alone. In your name I pray. Amen.

There are so many different phases of life, and maybe the real question we should be asking ourselves is will we ever know who we truly are and own that, instead of who we aspire to be? Ponder that.