The truth about friends…
I’m sure you have heard of this common analogy:
Friends are like elevators. They can either take you up or down.
This is absolutely 1,000,000 x a billion times true. Friends play a huge role in your overall influences. When you take time to focus on who your friends really are and bring yourself to a certain level of awareness… I guarantee you will start to notice all of the little details both good and bad about your friends – everything they do is a complete influence to you. Friends influence you on so many levels. They influence the way you talk, text, attitude, how you treat other people, the decisions you make (this is a BIGGIE), the way you dress, and even the way you think!
Questions to Ask Yourself
Are your friends speaking life into you? Are your friends providing you with the emotional support you need when you need it? Are your friends making decisions that you would never make yourself because they are either crazy or not in alignment with your personal morals? Are your friends respectful and show empathy towards others? Are your friends honest with you? Do your friends motivate you to be the best you you can be? Do your friends hold you accountable for the things they should be? Do your friends truly have your best interest?
These are sublime questions to ask yourself about your friends to raise your awareness about who’s really in your circle. I don’t know about you, but I only want real genuine life giving people in my circle as the people I choose to surround myself with for these are the people that will unambiguously impact my whole life.
Finding exemplary genuine people to surround yourself with is utterly essential to your overall well being. When you really think about your overall well being there are a variation of factors that I believe one should take into consideration when surrounding yourself with people you want to consider “friend(s).” Two factors of which I tend to focus on a lot when it comes to choosing my friends are Environmental and Lifestyle. These ring so true to me as these factors are significant for the current stage of life that I am in at 23 years of age.
Environmental – Environment has a direct influence on the physical, mental and social well being of an individual. The environment also has everything to do with where you allow yourself to be – what and who are you surrounding yourself with? Where are your friends taking you? Do they listen to you or judge you if you don’t want to go somewhere because you know it’s not a good environment? You control the situations you put yourself in. If you think something bad will come if you go some place, easy solution. Don’t go there. You can do the same exact thing with people. Do not affiliate yourself with people who your head and heart tell you not to. Point blank simple.
Lifestyle – When I talk about lifestyle I’m talking specifically about behavior and habits like smoking and alcoholism. This generation is so caught up in smoking and drinking, and honestly it is not a good look. It’s actually really sad. For me, I affiliate smoking and drinking to someone who is simply lost. Like I said before I was stuck in that phase in college, but thank God I got out. It was tough but oh so worth it! You cannot have friends who are constantly smoking and drinking if that is something you don’t want to get into. Even if you’ve never got into these things before, whether you admit it or not you want to be like your friends to a certain extent… If you keep hanging around them you just may lose yourself. You have to have the strength to walk away from these types of friendships because they are nothing but toxicity and will only bring you down to floor zero via elevator. It is up to you to recognize the toxicity.
If you have had a toxic friend, you would understand the cruciality of selectiveness when it comes to choosing who you allow to be your friend or not.
I am very very and I mean VERY selective when it comes to who I choose to spend my time with. I want to be surrounded by people who are motivating, inspiring, and will challenge me to always follow my heart and make good decisions in life. I also want to be around people who share a similar outlook on life that I do. I like to be around people who talk about life, the present and the future. I love people who know where you should be in life and encourage you to get there. That is a gift.
Why am I so selective?
I don’t want no drama! I am in my twenties now, and this is the time to be thriving. Completely thriving and flourishing like a beautiful rose in the summer sun. This is no longer a time to be caught up in some childish drama. I have bigger and better things to worry about.
I have been hurt too many times to count by people who were my so called “friends.” I have had very few true friends in my lifetime. Friendship is something I take very seriously. When you think about what a friend should truly embody – it is kind of mind boggling. Friends are people we tell are deepest and darkest secrets about life to. A friend to me is many things: someone who listens, someone who does not judge, someone who somehow makes everything alright, someone who you can be your complete self around, someone who challenges you, and someone who is there for you.
Types of Friendships I live for:
The Hype – The friend that always pumps you up for anything and everything!
The Lovely -The friend that is just so loving in everything they say and do!
The Always There – The friend who always answers your texts, calls, and is always available when you need them!
The Give it to You Straight, No BS – The blunt friend that will tell you what’s up no matter what!
The Down for Whatever – The friend who is always spontaneous and pushes you to be that too!
These are the most valuable friendships to me as they all embody a variety of characteristics that make being around them that much more enjoyable. They also provide an essence of fulfillment in life’s puzzle piece of friendship.
Have you ever had a friend who made you feel like you were a joke? Or a friend who always said things to tear you down and made comments about the way you lived your life? Well I have, and I won’t allow the negativity from someone else to be amplified in my life. This is toxicity. It is my responsibility to surround myself with people who recognize this as well. I believe you should find the time for the things and people that make you feel happiest to be alive, anything or anyone that makes you feel any less is not worthy of you or your time. Remember that.
Why invest your time in someone who isn’t making you feel like you are a priority? I deserve a friend who’s actually going to be a friend. We all do. I have always thought I was never good enough to be friends with certain people, but never again will I allow myself to let someone else make me feel like I’m not good enough for their friendship or worthy of a good friend.
One thing I’ve always told myself is this, “Be the friend that you would want to be friends with.”
Think about your friendships as they correlate with your overall well being. Make your overall well being a priority and take control of the friendships you have because they are extremely impactful in the way you are as a human being. Be friends with the people who will take you to level 100 via elevator…
S/O to my friends you know who you are – you are amazing. I love y’all.