Archives for March 2022

Slow Down Mama

This is something I wrote while still pregnant with Nixon as I constantly needed to remind myself that it’s okay to slow down. I think I should remind myself of that now that he’s actually here too as I have been go, go, go. If you know me, you know that is how I am. I love to get things done and stay organized simply for the sake of my own sanity. If you are wanting some tips on how to keep your sanity and still get things done, please check out my most recent blog post about how I do that here!

Do you ever feel like you’re a hamster on a spinning wheel that never stops? Always on the go and your brain just won’t settle down between the endless to do list, physical and emotional demands of being a mama? Well this is your reminder to slow down and take a deep breath. I am right there with you mama. I need the spinning wheel to stop and to take a nice long break and drink some water! Since I am constantly nursing Nixon and chasing Nevaeh all day long, the dehydration is sooo real. Where’s the vacation at? LOL. I love my two babies and getting things done, but I too need a “break” or time to slow down every once in awhile. Please don’t get it twisted…

What’s a break?

Breaks and me time? Are you joking? No such thing for a mom. What do my breaks look like? I never take a break. I am finally writing this blog because I told my husband to watch our daughter because I am doing this this instant. HAHA! I recently did a story on my Instagram asking parents and other mama’s what they and their significant other do for spending time doing what they want (Almost two months ago now when this post will go live)… I was not surprised at all by the responses I got from other mama’s laughing saying there is no such thing as me time for mama. Before you say, “Well you need to just do it.” Can you please tell me how and when? I have yet to figure out how to just go do what I want. I constantly have the sweetest baby girl tugging on my legs to play, chit chat, explore, she needs to be fed and have attention. Not to mention the house needs cleaning, dishes need to be washed, laundry needs to be done daily, and etc. If you are a mom and you have mastered how to chip out hours of your day dedicated just to you, please slide into my DM’s and share all your juicy secrets (I feel I am getting better at prioritizing myself, but it is not in excess as it shouldn’t be because I’m a parent)… Some days I wish I could take a real break and get away from the demanding labors of motherhood. I know it’s really not that simple, but slow down mama.

No mom guilt or constantly worrying about what my baby is doing without me or just trusting whoever is watching her to care for her so sweetly and every other overwhelming feeling that comes with your child being away from you. It was hard as hell making my child, and excuse my french, but I’ll be damned if something terrible happens to her. Not on my watch. Yes, I am an overprotective mama for so many reasons. It is hard carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. What do I mean by world? I mean caring for everyone and everything except you. The babies and all of their demanding needs, the house, and your spouse. Everything depends on you mama. All the time, but slow down mama.

Enjoy the mess

In one day I vacuumed the kitchen 6 different times and I am not over exaggerating. I was cleaning up a different set of crumbs that sweet little Nevaeh happily left on the ground as she happily smiled and giggled while she ate yummy graham crackers, or goldfish, or saltines, or whatever other snack she had throughout the day that day. I thought to myself this matters. Cleaning up her little messes everywhere she went even though it seemed tedious and like I was doing the same thing over and over again, it mattered. Smiling at her while she left her little crumbs on the ground because I knew that she was being fed and enjoying what she was eating because she had the biggest grin on her face with each bite. I even found a stash of animal crackers under our area rug in the living room because I noticed her putting her hands under the rug and giggling. I could not believe my eyes that she was smart enough to store things away for the winter time like a little squirrel. She cracks me up. Anyways, slow down mama.

Nevaeh loves going in her room and grabbing about 100 diapers, 7 burp cloths, 50 breast pads, 10 pants, 5 hangers and throwing them around the room. Whipping them from their organized places as quickly as she can as if the faster she does it she will get a treat or something. She will also scatter some throughout the landing of the upstairs and run back and forth in the hallway like she’s being chased and just giggle even though no one is chasing her. I just sit by and watch her happily make the mess because she is having the time of her life. These are the messes that help her learn and are worth making. I am in no rush to clean these messes up as I know she will make the same mess over and over again less than three minutes later. The next time your child makes a happy mess look at the joy on their face when they’re in the midst of the mess and don’t be in a rush to clean it. Remember the mess helps them learn and grow, so slow down mama.

Mama’s run the world and anyone who tries to tell you different isn’t a mama. I don’t like the “You don’t have to do it all” saying. Oh really because I don’t know how anything would ever get done to my standards, but slow down mama.

my little bambino’s tiny mess

Categories: Home, Motherhood, Tips

9 Things I do daily and weekly to stay sane

Ever since I have had my second child, people have been in my DM’s asking me “How am I doing all of this?” Here are the things that are most important to me both daily and weekly that I arrange my schedules around. Life can be really hard sometimes. I have found it is best to take things day by day and week by week to get things done. If you feel like you don’t have it together, I highly suggest sitting down and writing out the things that are most important for you to feel sane or feel accomplished. Use this blog post and template to help you get your wheels turning to come up with a plan of things you want to accomplish daily and weekly in the busyness of life.☺️

5 things I do daily

Spend ample amount of time with my babies giving them my undivided attention I love my babies so much and cannot get enough of them. They are so special and deserve mama’s full undivided attention to help them grow, develop, and feel appreciated and loved. I am sure they know how much mama loves their precious little selves. They are God’s gift to me even on the hard days, I love them. I love them.
Wake up early and make the bed When I wake up early and get out of bed right away the day is just better. I also like to make the bed so it looks good and that starts the day off right. Something about doing this task is so fulfilling. I highly recommend waking up when your alarm goes off and making the bed each and every day. These days my alarm is Nevaeh’s little fingers tugging on my hair once her dad has gotten her out of her crib or Nixon’s sweet cry for me to change his diaper or give him his breakfast. LOL.
Get ready for the day I’ve found getting ready for the day makes me feel way better about myself. What does getting ready look like for me? Every day is different as I don’t like to wear makeup everyday so I can rub my face all over my babies soft cheeks and kiss them all over the place. The only time I will wear makeup and is when I am having company over or going to be out and about for long periods of time. I feel better about myself when I am put together with some makeup. Do not get me wrong here, I will go outside of the house or have company over with a bare face and feel completely fine! Some days I will wear my wig(s) and some days I’ll do my natural hair. It really depends on what mood I’m in when I wake up. I like to moisturize my face every morning with my Kiehl’s moisturizer. Lastly, I like putting on an outfit that makes me feel good or “snatched” LOL. These days I am in comfy clothing and like a good yoga or sweat pant and crop top or some sort of loose fitting top that’s good for nursing.
Take care of my personal hygiene It may sound silly, but it’s a lot of work to continue to take care of yourself while you’re taking care of babies who are demanding your attention nearly every second and minute of each and every day. Every day my energy tank gets fully used up from all the things especially with nursing and pumping. All of the little things turn out to be all of the big things when you look at the bigger picture. What do I mean? Brushing my teeth every day prevents cavities and other potential tooth problems. Showering or taking a bath each and every day prevents body acne and body odor. Washing and moisturizing my face everyday prevents breakouts and bad skin. If you are a person that needs to work out or move your body, that’s great too. You get the point! All of these things are necessities to me as I am taking care of myself and don’t want the repercussions of simply not taking care of my body and its basic needs. I highly recommend not neglecting your physical needs.
Accomplish at least two tasks that need to get done around the house Some days I just don’t have the energy to check a million and one things off of my to do list for the day. Other days I knock out everything and then just chill maybe two days out of the seven day week. If I can accomplish three loads of laundry in one day from start to finish and unloading and reloading the dishwasher in one day that’s a win. It can be a multitude of things, but I’m usually accomplishing what seems like a billion and one things each and every day to stay on top of everything. A few examples: Dishes, Laundry, Dusting, Vacuuming, Steaming the floors, Mopping the floors, cleaning the toilets, bleaching the shower tiles, bleaching the bath tub, and etc all while taking care of my two precious bundles of joy. I pretty much do everything with Nevaeh and teach her how to do things as I am doing them. She is learning so much by doing this. I don’t have any guilt taking care of both the babies and my house as I shouldn’t. This is life and things have to get done.

4 things I do weekly

Do one creative activity that is stimulating to my brain I enjoy Calligraphy, coloring, reading, and writing. I try to do at least one of these activities weekly to help keep my brain stimulated from a creative standpoint. I typically do these activities at night once the kids are sleeping, so I am not taking away any of our time together during the day.
Get out of the house Even if it just a quick 10 minute drive to Target, do it. I would say I am a homebody and I know it is not good to stay cooped up in the house for several reasons. Leaving means I’ll get some fresh air, listen to a few of my favorite songs in the car (I hate the radio) and sing, and see my cute angels in the rearview mirror. I am that mom that brings the babies everywhere and it’s a rarity if I am out and about alone. When I am out and about alone somewhere, I feel like I need to rush home to relieve dad and also because I just miss them so much. I am sure that feeling will soon dissipate and I’ll be taking my sweet old time and vying to get out of the house alone, but for now it’s a rarity.
See people and have adult conversation I try to spend time with both friends and family weekly/monthly. Spending time with people besides my husband and children is great because it allows me to have conversations with other adults who care about me and my wellbeing and enjoy spending time with me. This is something I have to force myself to do without the babies. Time is so valuable and I do not like wasting my time with unnecessary things or people who do not deserve my time and energy.
Spend time with Josh I try to spend some time with just Josh every week – this does not mean we go on dates every week. It is just good to set aside time together without the kids. This is usually at night whenever we both don’t have plans. We shoot for one to two times a week.

Start with a simple day to day schedule with at least two to three things on it that are important to you. I get energized by checking things off a list and getting things done which is a huge reason why I can get so much done. This is the way I am as a person – very motivated to get stuff done. If you set up a clear plan every day, watch how you will be checking everything off your to do list all while spending time with your babies and taking time for you too in no time. I swear by my weekly schedule and feel so much more organized and accomplished because I don’t overwhelm myself with everything that needs to be done or forget things as I do it all! I hope you found this helpful and get some of your sanity back if you’ve lost it. 🤍

Categories: Motherhood

Postpartum Experience with baby #2

A lot of the things that I post to my blog are really for myself; however, I know some people enjoy reading the things I write as they find them relatable and inspirational. Your responses and messages to the things I write about sharing these special moments in life with you really touch my heart. I am happy to share things with the world because I know at least one person will feel heard or seen and that things in life happen and there are people who understand. If you have not yet read my labor and delivery with baby #2, I encourage you to do that! You can read all about it here.

This time around I had a clear game plan about my expectations with everything. I had multiple conversations with my husband, Josh, about what I need in the hospital postpartum, what my boundaries are going to be with friends and family and people seeing the baby, what the daily routine will be for taking care of our toddler if I am not able to do things, what tasks need to be done around the house, and how we would make time for each other to both have our own time and time together. A LOT OF THINGS! Mama’s I encourage you to have the difficult conversations with your husband or significant other and stand your ground as this will make all the difference. You are the one who is going through all of the changes: emotional, physical, mental. Everything is on you mama and you have to come to a mutual understanding for the sake of your own sanity and mental health. Postpartum is not a joke. These conversations made a huge difference as our marriage is flourishing and our love for one another is growing more and more. We made beautiful humans that are tremendous blessings and gifts from God. I have never been more in love with my husband and family. When I see him with our babies I just melt away… I am so thankful. This time around has been a whole night and day difference from the first time around. I am grateful to have already experienced postpartum and have a better experience this time around. A lot of prayer went into this. (This was written at two weeks postpartum).

1 Day

Today I am 1 day postpartum and still in the hospital. I feel so much joy and happiness. He is so cute and content. He is everything I ever dreamed he would be and gives me all the feels now that I have both a son and daughter. Today I feel great. I ate good, bathed my body, washed my face, brushed my teeth, kept my body hydrated with lots of water, got up and moved around all day, snuggled my baby, kissed my baby, fed my baby, and cherished every stinking minute with just my husband and son. I am ready to love you forever, Nixon Dean. When I hold you in my arms I am reminded of what life is all about. The same feeling I felt when I held Nevaeh at your age… It’s something magical. I love this feeling and I never want it to go away for these are the sweetest days I will ever know. Thank you Jesus.

1 Week

Today is Valentine’s Day and my sweet Nixon Dean is a week old already. It still does not seem real that I just had a baby a week ago. He is the sweetest little babe. He sleeps all day and night and loves mama’s milk. This time around I have had to pump since day one postpartum because my breasts have been so engorged and hard as a rock if I do not relieve milk from them. Praise the Lord for all of the milk I am producing, but there are times where I am in a world of pain and can not even put my arms together without experiencing pain due to the engorgement. No clogged ducts yet – praise Him! Nixon is always choking because the flow is so fast and if I don’t have the haakaa I’m hollering to Josh to get it or the bottle to save all of the additional drops of liquid gold when he comes off the breast as the flow is crazy. In the first week I have pumped and froze close to 200 oz of breast milk all while nursing him all day and night and I cannot believe that. We had an in home family photoshoot at 1 week postpartum with my favorite gal, Madalyn. Check her out here! I am so smitten by his little gummy smiles, cute faces, milk drunk faces, little kicks, and movements. He smells delicious. There is nothing like that fresh newborn baby scent, IYKYK. I love watching every little movement he makes. He moves and looks around so delicately. It is very cute to watch. I am snuggling him every single chance I get. I love squeezing and holding him close on my chest and whispering things in his ears and praying over him. I am loading his cheeks and lips up with an endless amount of kisses. I love doing daily stretches with him and filling his mind with special words and prayer. Every morning I wake up and thank God for him. He is such a miraculous miracle.

1 Month

Today I am 1 month postpartum and it has flown by. So far I have taken a bunch of photos and videos of Nixon Dean and my heart just cannot take it. He is too stinkin’ cute! The time has flown by way too fast. Warning – this potentially may be TMI but I don’t care… I have already gotten my cycle back, so that’s lovely. A lot of people keep asking me when I’m going back to work and when I’m having more babies. I just LOL at both questions because it’s wayyyy too soon to be thinking about either. I told Josh that I was going back to work for a half day at two weeks postpartum and he said no. I was serious too. If I’m being honest, I think working my job is easier than taking care of my two babies. HAHAHA. Staying home all the time is just not my jam and I love what I do, so to answer that question – I’ll be back to work when I feel like it. I have stated many times that I am not having any more kids. I am very content with my two kiddos, and we have the best of both worlds with one boy and one girl. Thank you Jesus! As of now I am enjoying staying home and loving on both babies. I do get out of the house every once in awhile. Now that Nixon is growing he is up a lot more during the day. Whenever he is awake I always pay attention to him by talking, showing him something new, walking around the house with him, playing, reading books, singing, tummy time, and stretching. I am doing all of the things you can do with a newborn of his age to encourage growth and development. It is so fun to see him react to different things when he is awake. I haven’t pumped in 2 weeks – I cannot find time to do it as I did not get the Elvie, cordless pump, that I wanted to this time around because they were sold out everywhere I looked. I also do not see myself pumping very often anyways. I have been using the haaka whenever I am nursing him. This saves me 2oz of milk every 5 minutes vs. just letting that go to waste due to leaking. This time around, I feel like I have more of a supply of breastmilk than I did with Nevaeh. Nixon eats a lot! I have had both breasts with clogged ducts at the same time and I was dying of pain. IYKYK.

Mental Check

Mentally I was struggling for a few days at the three week mark from the sleep deprivation and getting my cycle back. I am trying to not be so hard on myself for things as I know my hormones are cooky crazy right now. I am focusing on being more optimistic vs pessimistic about a lot of things. I am doing a lot of self-reflecting and soul searching. I am determined to keep my mental health in check and am trying my best to not let the little things bother me. I have realized life is too short and some things just don’t matter and are not worth my anxiety. Having 2 babies has matured me in a few aspects which I am grateful for.

Physical Check

Physically the first two weeks I could tell my body went through something that was difficult. I had lots of pain in my back and uterus. I would overdue it at times and not sit down to rest, but that’s just me. I still have back pain and know that will probably continue for months from the epidural. At two weeks postpartum I could fit into my size 00 jeans again. I still have a small bump at four weeks postpartum. I am not concerned about slimming down or getting rid of the stretch marks any time soon or at all really. I have thought about becoming more active now to get into shape. I haven’t ever felt determined to really hit the gym or get on a schedule for exercise since my gymnastics days were over nearly a decade ago. I have been thinking about it more recently and feel like it would be very beneficial for my body to get back into shape, regain some flexibility, and put on some muscle. I want to get into yoga and pilates.

What has been the most helpful for me this time around?

The most helpful thing has been a shift in my mindset. Accepting that it’s going to be messy, nothing has to be perfect, I am still important, and there are more ways to do things! I am letting go of some control and becoming more lenient with certain things as they aren’t worth my time and anxiety. I am getting ready some days and taking care of me. Getting ready in the mornings has made a huge difference in my overall mood. What is getting ready to me? Getting ready – depends on the day honestly, but doing my hair, moisturizer on the face, brushing the brows and teeth LOL, putting on a comfy nursing friendly outfit and I’m gucci. I am trying not to lose myself in motherhood – I am still my own independent self apart from motherhood and have things I enjoy doing and need to find time to do those things. I have realized it is okay to take time for me. It took me awhile to realize that after becoming a mama. If you want to do something – make time for it but do not do it in excess!

A few last words…

Remember that not all days are good days. There will be hard days especially if you have more than one baby. If you are on my social media, you know I love a good IG/Facebook story. LOL. Please do not be fooled or think I am posting a highlight reel. What you’re seeing is the real deal. I post what I feel, and have always kept it real. If you are struggling with postpartum, please advocate for yourself because it is serious. Talk to someone or see your doctor. I hope you are flourishing or are on your way to flourishing because you got help! You got this, mama.

Thanks for reading, be well.

xoxoxo