As hard as pregnancy is, it is worth it all. Honestly, I hated being pregnant. There were moments that I did enjoy, but it was very hard for me and I’m so glad I am not pregnant anymore and that our beautiful angel daughter is here. She is happy, healthy, and everything I could have ever hoped and dreamed for.

I’m going to open up about my pregnancy journey because I feel like it could help someone else who is pregnant or just anyone who wants to know the real truth about my pregnancy journey. How was I really feeling in each trimester and what “big moments” happened? I got pregnant right away after 1 month of trying. Thank you Jesus! I knew the first month of trying my chances were slim to none because I know my cycle and knew that I wasn’t fertile when I got back from my trip in February, but we still tried. I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant. I did not record myself taking the test or telling my husband. I was too excited to set all of that up or think of a cute way to tell him since we already knew we were trying to be pregnant. It doesn’t seem like much of a surprise to me, but that’s just me and my thoughts. I told Josh on April 1st, 2020 just by walking out of the bathroom and while I moved my arms in a motion up towards the sky and then back down towards my thighs like a flower that’s blooming in spring and simply said, “I’m pregnant” and then I crawled back into bed and cuddled up to him with a silly little grin on my face. Oh what a happy day that was!

I also want to add that I understand some people struggle with becoming pregnant, some people may never be pregnant, and some people just love being pregnant. If you are reading this post, please understand that this is my story and I do not take the ability to have gotten pregnant right away for granted because I know children are gifts from Heaven. Thank you for letting me share my story and pregnancy journey with you if you continue reading.

THE FIRST TRIMESTER

I am currently writing this portion of this blog at 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant. To put how I feel in perspective – I have 1 really great day out of 10 really bad days. When I say “great day” this means days that I am not puking my brains out. I cannot keep anything down. That’s the worst part of it all for me – the constant nausea and running to the bathroom to puke. I guess that’s just how it goes when you’re pregnant… I am puking anywhere from 4-5x/day. It is absolute torture.

I have never felt worse in my entire life. I feel like I’m literally dying. The first trimester for me has been really rough. It is very hard for me to do really anything. There were days and sometimes weeks where I didn’t even go on social media or look at any texts and calls from friends and family because I felt that bad and it was so hard keeping the news in. The only time I picked up my phone was to call my mom. I am currently sitting in bed binge watching Chopped on the Food Network. Weird how I’d be watching the Food Network channel when I can’t keep anything down for the life of me. Knowing I had to try to eat food for the sweet little life growing inside of me like a normal person was difficult, but everyday I tried. I used the “Ovia” Pregnancy App to track everything each and every day.

WHAT WAS I TRACKING?

• Nutrition: What exactly did I eat and drink today?
• Moods: How am I feeling today?
• Sleep: How did I sleep last night?
• Symptoms: What are my symptoms today?
• Relationship: How is my relationship with my husband today?
• Milestones: Did I tell anyone I was pregnant today? Who did I tell and what was their reaction?
• Activity: What did I do today for my body or any activity in general?
• Doctor’s Appointments: When is my next doctor’s appointment and what questions do I have for my OBGYN?

I was very fortunate that I was pregnant in my first trimester during the Quarantine from COVID-19, so I could stay home and not feel terrible at work. I said, “This Quarantine was my saving grace because there is no way I would be working through this…” I am not a wimp! I can handle a lot, but this was a whole other beast. My life motto is Trust the Timing of Your Life and this was definitely me trusting just that and God. The global pandemic of COVID-19 was a blessing in disguise and I truly believe with all my being that this is why I was pregnant a month later than I initially had planned. God knew that this global pandemic was about to unfold and that we would stop going to work for a period of time. I’m so grateful I could stay home.

What sucked the most about the first trimester was not being able to tell people that I was indeed pregnant. It was such an exciting time. You want to do everything right to ensure a healthy pregnancy. I cannot tell you how much research I did the first day I found out I was pregnant. Reality check —> Google does not have all of the answers!! Everything I was feeling as a new first time mom was completely normal. Tons of emotions flooded through my mind like a burst of electricity shooting through to an outlet. I was so excited that I had my whole baby registry completed on Babylist.com in one day.

WHAT WAS I RESEARCHING?

• What types of foods should I be eating? What amounts of each food type do I need to eat daily? (Meat, Dairy, Veggies, Etc).
• What am I going to feel like on this week of pregnancy?
• When will my boobs get bigger? LOL
• When will I feel “stretching” or round ligament pain?
• Is “x, y, and z” normal?

MY SYMPTOMS:

• Unexplainable fatigue and exhaustion – I just felt tired all the time and wanted to rest and do nothing
• Decrease Appetite – McDonald’s sounded absolutely disgusting to me, and if you know me you know that I love McDonald’s
• Vomiting – A lot of it each and every day
• Decreased sex drive – LOL, I did not want Josh to touch me at all
• Vivid Dreams – Crazy dreams like I was on drugs or something
• Excessive saliva – This was very uncomfortable and lasted 6 months
• Nasty taste in my mouth 24/7 even after brushing – Tasted like metal and just really icky for 6 months
• Acne – I had really bad acne throughout the pregnancy and I’m still struggling with it now (I never struggled with acne, just the occasional pimple here and there)
• Abdominal Cramping – I experienced some cramping throughout the first trimester which was within normal limits
• Constipation

MEDICATIONS

A little back story regarding my viewpoint on pills and medication… If I have a headache, tummy ache, or really any pain at all I will not take anything for it because I know it will eventually pass. You could say I have a more organic and holistic viewpoint when it comes to medications and what not. Taking medications while pregnant unless absolutely necessary I have always hated taking pills and any sort of medications for whatever reason a pill may be needed for two reasons:

1) I know pills and medications can become addictive and I never want to become dependent on any sort of drug.

2) I am not sure how my body will react to them.

I also saw that taking certain medications during pregnancy can cause autism and behavioral issues in babies. I am not sure what source I read that from, but I was not willing to risk that lifelong complication for a silly headache or something dumb that would pass on its own.

WHAT medications WORKED FOR ME?

• Vitamin B6 25mg – this medication seemed to work for me when I didn’t feel severely nauseous, but it helped a little. I
  probably took this medication for a total of 7 days.
• Unisom 25mg – this medication knocked me out, so I only took it at night and I only took this 3 or 4 times.

PRENATALS

Prior to the pregnancy I was already taking a daily prenatal vitamin. I was taking the Target brand Up & Up generic prenatal vitamin. I started this pill 3 months in advance to becoming pregnant. I have no clue if this actually helped us conceive right away or not; however I quickly stopped taking it as it was definitely a contributing factor to my nausea and vomiting. I told my OBGYN I stopped taking my prenatal vitamins and I didn’t want to take them because I was afraid. I have a confession: every doctors appointment they asked if I was taking them, I lied. I got sick from them and was simply afraid of taking medications while pregnant even though I know these were perfectly safe to take. I explained what I was feeling with the pill prenatal vitamin and both the nurse and my OBGYN recommended I switched to a gummy prenatal. I switched to gummies at the end of the second trimester. I took them at night to avoid any feelings of nausea which I tolerated well. The gummy prenatal I took was Olly. I did not take these daily like I was supposed to because I would forget or I simply just didn’t want to take them. I still don’t believe in prenatal vitamins because back in the day people weren’t taking prenatal vitamins and their babies turned out just fine. I wasn’t too concerned about it and had no reason to be concerned as all my tests came back with great results. I thank God for that!

THE SECOND TRIMESTER

Everyone talks about the second trimester being the best thing since sliced bread after the first trimester; however, I was still miserable. I was still feeling nauseous and vomiting. I feel like I was told a bold faced lie because I was still feeling way under the weather. There was a time that I thought the baby was coming extremely early at 26 weeks. I woke up one day and my stomach was hard as a rock and I just did not feel right at all. I monitored it the whole 45 minute drive to work and made the decision to call the nurses line and explained what was going on. She said it sounded like I was going into preterm labor, so I needed to go in to be checked. I was balling and almost hyperventilating basically the whole drive because it was way too early to have a baby where there would most likely be complications. I called my mom and my mom called my grandma and there were a lot of people praying for me and baby. Thank the Lord we did not go into preterm labor and baby stayed inside for many more weeks to come.

My advice to new mama’s is always always ALWAYS call the nurses line or your provider when you feel like something isn’t right. It is better safe than sorry and I utilized the nurses line a multitude of times in the second trimester because I just wasn’t sure if what I was feeling was normal. In my second trimester my appetite changed immensely and I could eat anything I wanted all of a sudden. I went from not being able to eat and keep down a saltine cracker to eating a full 3 course meal. My symptoms in the second trimester: increased appetite, a sudden surge of energy some days, fatigue and exhaustion, nausea and vomiting still, increased sex drive, leaky boobs at 14 weeks, uncomfortable sleep, and more sever back pain. I never experienced sciatica prior to my pregnancy, and that was really really painful. It came and went as baby moved. The baby was positioned so she was sitting on a nerve in my spine sometimes, but one time it was almost so bad that I nearly could not walk. The nurse informed me if it worsened to the point that I actually could not walk I would need to go into the ER. She suggested my husband run a tennis ball down the side that was in pain. Josh did this for over an hour some nights because I was in that much pain. I remember the excruciating sharp pinching pains affecting my whole right side starting from my back, hips, quads, and going all the way down to my foot. I also coming home from work some days and going straight to my bed to curl up in a ball and cry because I was in so much pain. Everything hurt.

THE THIRD TRIMESTER

I was actually vomiting throughout the entirety of my pregnancy and that was the hardest thing for me. Puking in the third trimester is normal because all of your organs are smooshed together from your growing babe. As far as symptoms go all I remember from the third trimester was terrible heart burn, acid reflux, uncomfortable sleep, sciatica, and the puke. I was so uncomfortable and just wanted the baby out. Her kicks were so strong in my belly. It was fun feeling her little kicks, punches, and hiccups. She was a very active baby and was constantly moving throughout the day and night. I had to make an additional doctors appointment because I thought I had a blood clot in my left leg from a Charlie horse that was hurting for a week after it had initially happened. I also thought I was having kidney stones as well due to where I was feeling a constant pain in my back and side. I never had kidney stones in my life and hope I never have to experience them. Luckily I did not have a blood clot or kidney stones. Praise the Lord!

At this point in the pregnancy I did watch a few labor and delivery videos and just balled my eyes out because I knew that would be me soon. It just looked like such a beautiful moment that is so surreal. I read the 100+ page packet of information regarding labor and delivery in the span of 2 days and felt prepared for what was to come as each day was another day closer to meet my baby. At this point, I also started looking up what I should pack in my hospital bag. There are so many different things that you can pack, but a lot of it is so unnecessary. I looked up my hospital that I was going to deliver at and what they provide for mama and baby because I wanted to be prepared as best I could. I packed my hospital bag at 34 weeks. I also had the diaper bag packed with things for baby. I packed the diaper bag for future use and just had it with because who knows the car could’ve broke down and the baby needs her diaper changed… My advice to new mama’s when it comes to packing your hospital bag is to check where you are delivering and what they provide because you really don’t need a lot of things that you think you do.

what was in my hospital bag

• Blue tooth speaker – I used this to listen to music during my delivery
• Camera – I recorded the birth of our child and I am so glad I did because it was so beautiful
• Robe – I did not spend money on a new robe. I used my white silk robe from my wedding. I found I did not need this because I literally stayed in the robes that the hospital provided.
• 1 Set of PJ’s that I never wore
• Face wash
• Toothbrush and Toothpaste
• Hair Straightener that I didn’t use until we left
• Makeup that I didn’t put on until we left
• Peri Bottle – This was absolutely necessary because the one the hospital gives you is not good…
• Nursing pads – These were necessary for all breastfeeding mama’s when you leave the hospital
• 1 going home outfit – I recommend sweatpants and baggy t-shirt because you are going to be in pain and looking cute is the last thing that will be on your mind…

I worked as long as I could, but ultimately I had to do what was best for my body and that was to stop working and rest for a month prior. Why did I do this? The answer is simple. My job is physically demanding and I was unsure if she was going to be born 4 weeks earlier than expected because at 32 weeks she was diagnosed with IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction). This means she was measuring smaller than she should be. I was 3lbs and 4oz when I was born, but there is more to the story than me just being a premature baby. My husband was a big baby a 10lb babe. We knew that she may just be measuring small because of my size being a more petite person. My OBGYN wanted to take all precautions for the health of the baby and I am so glad she did. I had to go in for weekly ultrasounds and had a few extra doctor appointments so we could verify that all of her organs were working properly and monitor her growth. There was a time that I ended up seeing a different provider other than my normal OBGYN because I needed the appointment on that date due to my schedule and he really scared me. He said that she may need to come via C-Section and that freaked me out. I discussed this with my normal OBGYN and she said different providers have different practices which makes sense; however, the answer wasn’t a blatant no. She further explained to me at 34 weeks we may need to schedule an induction depending on how things progressed in the Ultrasounds with her growth. To make a long story short if we decided to wait for me to go into labor naturally I ran the risk of having a baby with breathing complications or a still born. Risks that I was not willing to take at all. How devastating… Fast forward to 38 weeks and we were picking out her birthday. We picked the day after Thanksgiving to go in to the hospital knowing that we most likely wouldn’t have her until Saturday November 28th, 2020. This was a hard secret to keep!

my BIGGEST STRUGGLES

I honestly felt like all my self confidence went out the window. I felt so unattractive as a pregnant woman. It was hard looking in the mirror seeing my body transformed. It was like when I looked in the mirror I no longer thought of my body as sexy, but just as blah. Even though I didn’t have any stretch marks, I couldn’t bring myself to accept the beauty that was going on inside would temporarily transform the outside. I tried Stretch Mark cream in the first trimester. I used Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Cream because it was a smell that I could actually tolerate one day, but then the next it had me running to the toilet puking my brains out. The things pregnancy does to ya man… I never used it after it made me nauseas and vomit because I didn’t want to feel like that if I could help it. I accepted the fact that my body would be different after the baby came and it will be what it will be. I do not plan on working out. My body will look how it will and I will accept it because it housed a beautiful baby for 9 full months. That is something to be proud of. I also struggled emotionally and physically. I went from being so full of life and energetic to the complete opposite. I lost all motivation to do my hobbies and just be around people. Some days it was hard to get up out of bed, but I showed up everyday and it was exhausting. I made it through it all. I am thankful, grateful, and blessed.

WHO WAS THE MOST HELPFUL TO ME THROUGH it all?

My mom was an absolute saint through it all. I cannot tell you how many times I called her throughout the days, weeks, and months of this pregnancy. She was always there. My mom brought me the best “Care Package” any pregnant person could ever receive. It had everything: A multitude of teas, saltines, animal crackers, ginger snaps, soups, sprite, and my favorite candies. Love you mom.

THE TRUTH

Pregnancy is not all it’s cracked out to be. Everything I thought pregnancy was going to be was a lie. I felt like I was lied to, but without anyone telling me anything about it. I thought it was going to be complete bliss and easy-peasy. The saying, “Nothing worth having comes easy” is so true. Especially when it comes to bringing another life into this world. It is definitely not easy. If I’m being blunt it was hard as hell. Being pregnant was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through in my entire life. As hard as pregnancy is, it is so worth it all.

The unfortunate thing is that no matter how much research you do and how someone else’s pregnancy went, everybody’s pregnancy is different. If someone says they can eat a banana to cure their nausea it may not work to cure your nausea. I learned that the hard way if you know what I mean… I pray your Pregnancy Journey is a wonderful experience with no pain unlike mine and I wish you nothing but the best.

Good Luck to all mama’s in their Pregnancy Journeys!